i'll peel you an orange : on the internet's love theories and more

love is ______ (fill in the blanks)

If being chronically online over here was not enough, my TikTok addiction got the best of me last summer and I found myself, on many afternoons, touring all varieties of content pockets it has to offer and came across ‘The orange peel theory’. For those unfamiliar : It is the idea that someone in love with you would commit to partaking in such a mundane yet laborious act of love, which is, peeling oranges. “Would you peel an orange for me?” was the latest litmus test in the digital laboratory of modern romance.

Again this Sunday, I found myself in those Pinterest pockets of Sotce’s yearn posting and got reminded about the recurring pattern about fruit metaphors for love. So, while I listened to the entire playlist I once made for someone I would’ve peeled oranges for, I penned down my takes on internet theories of love.

This is not the first or last time one will hear about internet litmus tests being named as theories. In fact you have seen versions of this before, like the Olive Theory from How I Met Your Mother or ‘The Lobster Theory’ if Phoebe from Friends had TikTok.

“Would you love me even if I was a worm // I’d peel you pomegranates // He hates olives, She loves them // Tell me how you like your coffee and I’ll make it for you”

In fact, it looks like we have been trying to test compatibility and measure our love for each other using such ordinary subjects as metaphorical devices. This begs for a larger question — what are these desires that we crave to be fulfilled? I did some thinking, discussing, reading and, pondering. In one of those discussions I remembered the shared admiration me and a dear friend from school had, for the poem ‘The Orange’ by Wendy Cope. She perfectly summarizes how sharing an ordinary moment of peeling oranges together is one of the greatest joys of life. The poem invites us to take a step back, appreciate the ordinary and especially the togetherness in the ordinary. Just like the ordinary in peeling oranges or pomegranates for your lover.

I peeled it [the orange] and shared it with Robert and Dave—
They got quarters and I had a half.
I did all the jobs on my list
And enjoyed them and had some time over.
I love you. I’m glad I exist.

[redacted]

yearn posting on oranges, as taken from Pinterest

I believe that women in Indian and other Asian cultures are the torchbearers of such love — showing up to your room with peeled and cut up oranges, pomegranates and the whole fruit basket if need be, making chai just the way you like when you’re back home. These acts don’t need to be done, neither is there a grand token of appreciation for it, but she would do it anyway. It shows how women have for long been trained to anticipate needs and operate with much higher levels of empathy, on a cultural and individual level. It would be foolish of me to not acknowledge that the glorification and expectation of such love has its problematic downsides. But I am also certain that if we put our mothers’ love to this test I am sure she’d pass well and beyond. It is offbeat, yet so routine. We can collectively agree that the highest form of love is a neatly arranged bouquet of consideration, anticipation of needs and unconditional acceptance.

However, I digress. I think these theories and tests reflect how we desire our lover to not only be a witness to the plain moments of our life but also actively participate in showing love and consideration in such plain and simple ways. I would like to call this the minimalism of romantic gestures. Yes you can buy her flowers and a diamond ring but will you sit down on a patch of grass and stain your fingers scarlet if it meant she enjoyed the pomegranate? Will you participate in the mundanities of life with her and not just the grandiose ones? I believe this is what Waymond was saying when he said, “In Another Life, I Think I Would Have Really Liked Just Doing Laundry and Taxes With You” in Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022).

In my opinion, it is one of the most delicate and poetic ways to illustrate love for another as it even transcends the realm of romantic relationships. The manifestations of such acts of love on the internet in name of ‘trends’ can be further disputed and criticized even, but the very reason it exists is a mere reflection of these human desires — to be loved with consideration for the mundane.

Dear reader, if you have read this far I am peeling a virtual orange to place in your palm and I hope my words find you in the lulls of your day soon again. Until then — eat your orange, call your mom, stay warm and listen to the playlist (made with love) I was listening to while writing this.

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